15 February 2013

Dark & Consuming

A. Meredith Walters

Title: Find You In The Dark
Series: Find You In The Dark #1
Author: A. Meredith Walters
Source: Purchased
Get Your Copy From: Amazon

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Maggie Young had the market on normal. Normal friends, normal parents, normal grades...normal life.  
Until him. 
Clayton Reed was running from his past and an army of personal demons that threatened to take him down. He never thought he had a chance at happiness. 
Until her. 
Maggie thought their love could overcome anything. Clay thought she was all he needed to fix his messy life.  
That together, they could face the world.
But the darkness is always waiting. 
Sometimes the greatest obstacle to true love is within yourself 


 "I felt like my life was a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode."

It's like reading Beautiful Disaster all over again where a good girl fell in love with an alpha possessive male and they went into an intense, & wild roller coaster ride that will have readers glued to their books.

There are times in this novel where I would like to:

But the last one wasn't really an option since I'm dying to know how this ride ends. :D

Maggie Young, The Good
Hello, my name is Maggie Young. Seventeen year old self-confessed choc-o-holic and over all fabulous human being.

Maggie Young's life is just predictable, & boring, until she met Clay. They literally ran into each other, and although Clay was less enthusiastic than her in that first meeting - it didn't deter her in stalking him. She couldn't take him off her mind. And no matter how her friends are adamant in their relationship, she went on with it. She thought that she can help him and everything will be fine, too bad the meds prescribed to him is called Lithium and not Maggie. 

By the time she realized that he needed help more than what she can offer - it might be too late. 

I liked her at first, I like how she is with her friends, being a mediator in the pending Rachel & Dan drama. She has great parents and a star athlete and she was willing to throw it all for Clay because he needs her. I felt sad for her, at the same time I wanted to throttle her. Somethings, especially love, should feel wonderful instead of painful. 

She has a great circle of friends, Rachel & Dan (which are featured in a novella, Cloud Walking). I love them both, including their drama. I couldn't wait until I can read it.

Clayton Reed, The Bad
Clayton Reed, though you can call me Clay. Seventeen year old senior and unabashed misanthrope. 
He was a social misfit, a pariah and apparently had no desire to interact with the world in general. 

He was new. And when new people enters school on their senior year without talking to anyone at all, some tongues wag. Who is he? Where did he came from? Why did he transfer?  He's a mystery. Especially with his mood swings. One moment his happy, next moment his cranky. There are secrets he didn't want anyone to know, secrets he wasn't ready to share even with Maggie - the only one eager to be his friend. He wasn't sure if she can handle all of him.

But despite the fact that he has it, Maggie still fell in love with him. But how can he make her stay when all he does is hurt her? When all he says is sorry? There are times when sorry is not enough anymore. 

He doesn't want any help, all he needs is Maggie. 

Their Relationship, The Ugly
Their relationship is all consuming that it almost bordered to obsession. It was, as Maggie said, a ticking time bomb waiting to explode, and she is in the middle of it. Everything went out of proportion and it was heart-wrenching watching her wasting her life into saving something she was not suitable to save. I understood that she loved him, and she wanted to be with him, to be there for him when nobody else will. However, their relationship wasn't healthy anymore and clearly he needed help more than what she can give. 

To say that their relationship is unhealthy would be an understatement. Issues are slapping them right in the face and both of them tends to ignore it. Instead of helping, Maggie becomes a co-dependent, & Clay wasn't changing one bit. He continued his ways until finally, tragedy happens. 

Florence Nightingale Concept
“I have learned that sometimes "sorry" is not enough. Sometimes you actually have to change.” 

How many girls have tried to save bad boys only to get their hearts broken? 

Don't we all love bad boys? We have this notion that we can change them and make them better men. Who loves best than a reform bad boy? Then the big BUT comes - some changes are not permanent and some can't change ASAP. You can't help everybody who needs help. There is always a borderline that you need to draw on what you can or you can't do. Although love is not always a fairy tale, nor a nightmare. It's not a time bomb or a landmine. 

Love should indeed feel wonderful, and safe. Safe is the keyword. It shouldn't make you feel isolated - being in this crazy mini-world with the only people residing are you and your girlfriend/boyfriend can be very dangerous. Relationship needs support as well. Never block out your friends, especially your family because they will be the ones to catch you when you fall.  

Summing Up
Dark. Intense. Emotional Roller Coaster. Consuming. 

The Sequel
I wanted to hear Clay's voice in the first novel. I wanted to know what he's thinking inside his brain. And yet, all hear is Maggie's. But we all can access his thoughts on the second one. ♥♥♥ So pleeeeassseeeee, can I have it??!!

Favorite Quotes
  • “What is it?" I asked breathlessly. "I love you so much. Sometimes it hurts." "I don't want it to hurt, Clay. Our love should make you feel wonderful.” 
  • “I had wondered a million times how I could possibly go on living when my heart was gone? How was it possible that it still beat in my chest when it felt so empty?” 
  • “Hot damn. Cue the violins and happy cartoon bunnies. I was in the middle of a Disney moment. Because this guy was gorgeous. And we were standing so close to each other. If he hadn't been holding onto a barely contained rage directed at yours truly, it could have almost been construed as romantic.” 
  • “I have learned that sometimes "sorry" is not enough. Sometimes you actually have to change.”
  • “I needed Clay as much as he needed me. We existed in this symbiotic relationship where our hearts beat and our lungs breathed only for each other.” 
  • “I wanted to feel what it was like to kiss you for the first time without being sucked into a medicated fog.” 
  • “But the best relationship are built on friendship first.” 
  • “Just think life's too short to get hung up on maybes.” 
  • “It's amazing how something that had, in concept, seemed so insignificant to my life could not become my entire world.” 
  • “I could use a little monotony in my life. Spontaneity is exhausting.” 
  • “When you're in a room, Maggie, all I see is you. You make everything better. Clearer. You stop the crazy noise in my head. I can think, hell, I can breathe when we're together What you make me feel is the most unbelievable and scary thing I've ever felt.” 

About The Author
A. Meredith Walters
The New York Times bestselling author of Contemporary and Paranormal romance including Find You in the Dark, Cloud Walking and Bad Rep.

A. Meredith spent ten years as a counselor for at risk teens and children. First working at a Domestic Violence/Sexual Assault program and then later a program for children with severe emotional and mental health issues. Her former clients and their stories continue to influence every aspect of her writing.

A. Meredith recently moved to England and is trying to get used to driving on the other side of the road, eating fish and chips and all things British :-)

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