Thousand origami cranes (千羽鶴 Senbazuru?) is a group of one thousand origami paper cranes (鶴 tsuru) held together by strings. An ancient Japanese legend promises that anyone who folds a thousand origami cranes will be granted a wish by a crane, such as long life or recovery from illness or injury. This makes them popular gifts for special friends and family. The crane in Japan is one of the mystical or holy creatures (others include the dragon and the tortoise), and is said to live for a thousand years.
“If you leave now, I won’t run after you.”
Leila halted when she heard Christian spoke. He didn’t shout, he stated
those words firmly as if he wanted her to make a difficult choice. Can she?
Walking away from heaven and into
something that she is not sure, someone needed her more.
Leila
didn’t look back at him. She can’t, she was scared that the pleas in his eyes
would just make her stay.
“I’m sorry, X. Please understand me this
time, just this time. Like the way I have understood you for years.” Before he
could even answer, she opened the door and left.
***
Leila grasped her
phone tightly, wishing she could throw it away--- but after remembering how
much her phone cost, she changed her mind. She counted from one to ten to calm her nerves after that phone call
from Christian. He promised her, she made him reiterate it a couple of times
but he still broke it the last minute. He was not coming again. There was an
emergency case he needed to attend to. Last night, he assured her that he was
free today. Didn’t he hear of the word ‘day off’?
She closed her eyes and muttered a soft curse.
Since the day after his graduation at med school, he started to lose time for
her. At first, it was because of his application for his post-graduate internship.
Then after he was hired, there were a lot of emergency cases that could not be
delayed or cancelled. Sometimes, he would tell her that he was busy with
reviewing for his board examinations. She thought all the while that she should
understand, that complaining about his lost of time for her is a petty thing
since she was also a med student, she ought to understand.
Yet, she could not bear even to think that she
should have to schedule an appointment with him if she wanted to talk to him.
An appointment that he could cancel anytime that he wanted. She doesn’t feel
secure anymore.
This has been going on for more than a year
already. At first, it was okay, but after a while, a long while, she finally
decided that she had enough. She was not born a martyr. God gave her brains, so
she should use it before it atrophies.
Her relationship with Christian used to be
smooth-sailing. They didn’t have any problems, especially with their schedules.
But now, it is the very thing that is separating the both of them.
Tears began to fall from her eyes, not because
she was starting to get weak with her emotions, nor she wanted sympathy or
pity. She’s crying because holding back the tears is no longer possible, the
pain, the hurt, and the agony she had been enduring became too big to be kept
inside.
Leila missed him. A lot. She just hope the
moment he finds time for her, she would still remember what he looks like.
***
Christian took off his gloves and washed his
hands. The operation was over and the surgical team just saved one life. At the
same time, his relationship with Leila is getting rougher each day. He knew it
was his day off and he can go out of the hospital, enjoy his day and just be
with her.
Something happened when he was on his way out.
Ther e were three patients in the emergency room with stab wounds and are
scheduled for Stat operations. Problem is they are looking for assistants. He’s
a doctor.
Well, not
full-pledged, but still he is. He was needed mor e here. He wanted to become a
good surgeon like his father that is why as much as possible he wanted to
assist to as many operations as he can. So, without second thoughts, he called
Leila to tell her that he could not come. He knew she was mad at him now. She had
been patient for a long time. He should admit that it scares him to loose her.
However, she should understand how things work knowing that she would become a
doctor soon. Stop rationalizing things, X! Face it! What is happening right now
is your fault. He is torn between his girlfriend and his dreams. He was not
ready to give up any of them.
***
Leila took the chart out of the stack and
opened it. She released an annoying air out of her system.
Yes, she did not sleep well the other night.
Yes, she was pathetically waiting for his call
that never came.
And yes, she woke up at the wrong side of the
bed.
Now here she was being nagged by one of the
PGI to check the skin test result of one of the patients because the former was
too sleepy to examine it.
And then this, no diagnosis, no hint
whatsoever of why this patient is inside the hospital; not even a medical
history was written on the chart. What in the world is this? Just do what
you’re asked to do, Lei. Get on with it. You still have other patients to
check-up on.
She’s just glad there was at least a name on
the chart. Raja Lizares. No age, and no gender. Geez, she was not even sure if
this is a male or a female. But why does the name sounds familiar? Did she hear
the name somewhere? It rings a bell, but she could not recall.
Placing the chart close to her chest, she made
her way to the patient’s room. When she reached the patient’s door, she knocked
three times and waited for an answer. She lingered for a few more moments
before decided to enter the room. It seemed that no one wanted to open the door
for her.
The room was dark. She whispered a soft curse.
Leila tried to close her eyes for a while and open her eyes again to let her
vision adjust to the darkness. She thought that the patient was sleeping since
the lights were off.
But she was
mistaken. When she looked at the bed, no one was there. Not even a shadow. She
was trying to find the switch when she noticed something unusual with the room.
Heaven’s sake! The room is filled with papers! Not just ordinary paper, but
origami papers! Is he a child? Another pedia patient? What kind of child would
like dark places? She moved her hands on the wall and tried to search for the
switch when she felt that something was wrong. It was like there was another
person in the room. Her hands moved faster on the wall, her adrenalin was
almost rushing inside her body. When she found the switch at last, she almost
fainted when a hand stopped hers from turning on the lights, “Who in the world
are you?” the voice asked in the most arrogant and demanding voice she heard
her whole life.
***
Raja came from the hospital’s garden. He
needed to get some fresh air. He used to love the hospital. He longed to smell
the disinfectant in the four walls of the building. He liked to see the people
in their white uniforms, doctors and nurses, or even people in the laboratory.
But now, he loathed being in here. Every time he entered the hospital, it felt
like prison. He could almost feel invisible hand cuffs on his wrist the moment
he wore the ID bracelet. It was devastating, almost frustrating.
He was trying his best to remain positive at
all times. Telling himself that he is well, that nothing is wrong with him,
that he is fine. But how can a person still think of the birds and the bees,
and the blue sky when he cannot move in pain?
When he came back in his room, he was
surprised when he felt that someone was there inside. Then he finally noticed
that the “someone” was wearing white. Must be one of the medical students, just
when I need rest.
But he didn’t
expect the big surprise right before his very eyes the moment he turned on the
lights, standing in front of him is a girl with the most beautiful eyes he had
ever seen. And it was throwing daggers at him. Uh-oh, bad move, boy!
“Are you the patient?” she asked, slightly
moving herself away from him.
He went to his bed and sat down, “I guess so.”
“I’m JI Pabulayan, I’m here to interpret the
skin test.”
Purely business, how unromantic. “It’s
negative” he flashed his most charming smile, “What’s your first name?”
The girl raised a brow, “Where is it? Left or
right?”
“I told you its negative.”
“I still need to see it.”
“Is this a part of therapeutic communication?”
He saw her breathed in deeply, “Perhaps. So
can I please have the arm now?”
“What if it’s negative just like what I told
you?” he dared.
“I still need to see it,” she continued on
insisting.
This girl just never gives up. Her arms were
already folded in front of her and he noticed she was already stamping her
right feet. “You owe me a dinner if it’s negative.”
“Whatever!”
He held out both of his arms, “See, I told you
so.” She looked carefully and shook her head hearing the old cliché. She opened
his chart and wrote something. “You owe me dinner.” He reminded her.
The intern just smiled at him, the kind of
smile that doctors give to their patients, “I would love to, but you’re sick so
you need to rest.”
“Can you see any diagnosis on my chart, doc?”
“You did that on purpose!”
He instantly denied, “Of course not. My
attending physician knows me inside-out. I don’t think my history is necessary.
I don’t like student nurses or medical students invading my privacy.
Her brows formed a straight line, but before
her mouth opened for another rebuttal, he silenced her with another reply, “I’m
sure it’s for my own good. But it’s my choice, and so far my physician agrees
with me.”
“Then why are you
here?”
“I won’t die and
you won’t die either if we talk it over dinner?”
***
Anaphylactic shock?
She ran up the
stairs because the elevator was too long. She didn’t drop by the nurse’s
station, nor noticed there was no emergency cart in front of his room. When she
opened the door, she observed that the room was dark again. What is this all
about? She felt her adrenalin rush nearly dropped. She wanted to sit down.
Leila reached for the switch of the light, when she turned it on she was
surprised to see Raja standing, still alive and grinning.
“What do you think you are doing?” she
demanded. Leila wanted to throw anything at him.
“Relax. You owe me dinner, remember?”
It was then that she noticed the room was not
as messy as it was yesterday. There were no papers on the floor and a table was
really set up for dinner. You must admit, he made an effort! “You don’t have to
page me like that!”
“You haven’t replied to any of my text
messages.” He simply replied.
Why does he have to be so cool? So he’s the
one who’s been texting me the whole day. It was not her fault she didn’t reply.
Mainly because it was an unknown number, and second because she was too busy.
“Where did you get my number?”
“I’m just very resourceful. Anyway, aren’t you
hungry?” he led her to the table and assisted her to sit down.
Suddenly, she
wanted to cry. When was the last time she and X done this? She could not even
remember the date; all that she could remember was that he was in a hurry to go
because there was an emergency. “Are you okay?”
She tried to offer
him a smile, but the look on his face tells her that he didn’t buy it, so she
decided to change topic, “What do we have for dinner?”
“Italian foods actually. Somebody mentioned
you love pizza and lasagna.” Raja started to serve her the foods which amazed
her. Asking herself when was the last time she and her boyfriend done this
seemed to be a tune that was nagging her thoughts. “Somebody mentioned that you
have a boyfriend too. It’s Dr Uy, right?”
“You’ve done your research well,” she
acknowledged.
“Is it okay with him if I invite you for
dinner again?”
“Why would you invite me for dinner again?”
“I just want to spend time knowing you.”
“You told me yourself, you know I have a boyfriend.”
He smiled again, “Where? I can’t see him right
now. You ate dinner yesterday, breakfast, lunch and dinner again alone. And
he’s working here also.” Leila smirked, but it seemed he wanted to go on, “If I
were your boyfriend, I won’t let you eat alone. I will never take you for
granted. I will spend even just 30 seconds of one hour for you.”
She can’t help but laughed, she needs to or
else she’s going to cry. Raja just hit bull’s eye. “That one is called
hypoglycemia, Raja. Eat.”
When they finished desert, she started to ask
him, “How old are you?”
“Wow, is this The Buzz? I’m twenty-four.”
So young, “Do you still go to school or do you
have work?”
He shook his head and laughed softly, “I love
this question and answer portion . I could feel that your interest in me grows.
Work? You could say that. I was a resident-doctor abroad before I decided to
stop.”
“Why?” that’s why he was knowledgeable about
medical stuffs, like the skin test. He is a doctor, what went wrong? Did he
suddenly realize that medicine was not for him?
“Psychiatry tells us that asking why is not
therapeutic.” He reminded her, “Anyway, I won’t beat around the bush. Here’s
the climax of my story: I’m dying.”
***
Raja was diagnosed having brain cancer while
he was having his residency in one of the most prestigious hospital in New
York. After bouts of painful headaches, he decided to have a CT scan. The
results had brought his dreams to waste. All his life works is worth nothing.
He loved his course, no matter how hard it
was, he finished at the top of his class. He was then invited to work abroad
after the board exam which he also topped.
Raja wanted to be
an oncologist. What an irony. At first, he was in total denial. He didn’t want
to quit his work and go back to the Philippines. But the hospital left him no
choice, they asked for his resignation letter. His father picked him up and
brought him back to the country after series of test. Those painful tests
proved to be idle. His cancer was on its final stage. He was waiting for his
call from God. His mother died of cancer. And now, he was also dying from it. God,
it was too early to die.
to be continued...
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